New York rapper claims he channeled Kanye’s style with his purposely pompous and pretentious choice of cover art.
New York – August 7, 2009
By David Sutherland for SarcasticDBag.Blogspot.com
Jay-Z confirmed that the image that hit the internet on Monday – a mound of white instruments with three red lines superimposed over them – is in fact the cover for his highly anticipated album The Blueprint 3. "It's the album cover," Jay said as he sipped a 1994 Chateau Margaux from a long stemmed tulip shaped wine glass before accurately spitting the liquid into a silver bucket held by a young intern.
The long awaited final chapter in Jay-Z’s critically acclaimed Blueprint trilogy has the entire music industry buzzing, but a relaxed Hov seemed more interested in the finer things in life as he spent the afternoon detailing his love of expensive wine, art, and Kanye West’s gaudy sense of style.
“You know, the divine experience of a fine Bordeaux is enhanced when you spit the wine instead of actually swallowing it, and this can turn even the most basic vintage into a simply transcendent experience,” Jay declared as he dabbed the leftover wine from his lips with what appeared to be one of the original copies of the Magna Carta.
When asked about the rather cryptic image of the pile of instruments featured on his album cover, Jay explained "These things are like the forgotten pieces in hip-hop. It's still about music. These are the forgotten things about the art, which in my case is very expensive. I’m a collector of expensive art you know?”
Without missing a beat, the 39-year-old rapper got up from his chair and headed towards the east wing of his sprawling Tribeca loft where he stores his expansive collection of the work of controversial British artist Damien Hirst.
“I got into the art game after I read Kanye’s blog,” Jay claimed. “All those fancy pictures of modern art and cool furniture that Yeezy took so long to compile on his website really affected my soul.”
Jay’s collection, while vast and undoubtedly expensive, may have sacrificed quality for the sake of quantity however. An example of this is the sheer amount of bizarre Hirst pieces that the rapper owns, such as the controversial installation that features a rainbow colored unicorn performing fellatio on the embalmed remains of Truman Capote.
Jay bought the piece for $8 million (U.S.) and despite its offensive nature, he credits the installation as one of the inspirations for his rejuvenated rap career.
“This one right here is what it’s all about, and it really helped me get into the creative mind frame to record this new album,” Jay said proudly as he stroked the unicorn's well muscled hide. “But let’s not forget that most of my creative inspiration comes from my foppish baby brother: Kanye West.”
It is commonly accepted music industry lore that Jay-Z is Kanye West’s mentor, and that the Brooklyn rapper has influenced and shaped every step of the Chicago born superstars meteoric rise to fame. But with the unveiling of the cover art for Blueprint 3, it looks like the dynamics of the partnership have shifted and now Jay has channeled Kanye’s relentless drive to be the most pompous and pretentious douchebag on earth.
Jay-Z is not shy to admit that West has changed his approach to making music, and he cites West's controversial album 808's and Heartbreak as a major inspiration for his latest work.
“I really have to credit Kanye’s latest record with giving me the creative strength to try and get away with making my album cover such an inflated, grandiose representation of my burgeoning pretension,” he said.
Kanye West, who is rumored to have produced a majority of the tracks on Blueprint 3 had nothing but praise for Jay’s choice of album art, stating that “When I saw the art for the new Blueprint I just thought, 'wow Hov, you really upped the douchebag ante with this one homey'."
Even West seemed suprised at Jay's unabashed embrace of overblown extravagant modern art and had trouble grasping the overall meaning of the album cover. "I mean, damn Jay, no one reps pomposity like that! The blatant forced symbolism of death and progression, the trite use of contrasting colors and the predictable employ of perspective. Shit. Once again Hov beat me at my own game and that's why he's the greatest.”
Before any questions could be asked about the actual music on the eagerly awaited record, Jay-Z left the apartment and climbed into the back of a horse drawn carriage to go shopping for an Espresso machine in the East Village. Requests for a follow-up interview were denied by his representatives.
The Blueprint 3 will be available in stores and on iTunes on September 11th, courtesy of Atlantic Records.
This is fake news.
David Sutherland for SarcasticDBag.Blogspot.com
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1 comments:
LMAO!!
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